just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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