I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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