help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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