I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize