I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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