help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
