JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
