Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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