We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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