Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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