Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
