she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
