How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
