hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
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i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
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Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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