the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
