Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
