The best revenge is premature balding
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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