Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Randomize
