Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Found your dick twin last night
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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