The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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