I want to make a zoo with you.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
