Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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