Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
