god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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