I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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