I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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