Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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