All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize