very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
