she looked like the before picture.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
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I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
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There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We are all done wearing pants today
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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