In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
