Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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