just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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