I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
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I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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