I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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