What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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