he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
