The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize