If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
