i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
