Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
