This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
