If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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