"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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