I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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