all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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