when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
