I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize