You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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