Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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