i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?