so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
