it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my shit smells like andre
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
