You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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