white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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