Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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