So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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