For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
