Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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