Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
