Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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