I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
