Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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