She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
